Grab your tea or coffee and get ready for a full-on Mama rant!
Some days its so hard to find joy in this everyday mundane life. Some days running away from it all seems so tempting! You know those days when I still sometimes have to clean poop from the toilet floor due to a toddler who, on occasion, thinks himself above the whole poop-in-the-toilet phenomenon. When the washing basket is still full and i have already done three loads. When my backs hurts so bad after the never-ending folding and putting away of clothes etc. When 95% of my waking hours are spent either behind the wheel, chasing myself in circles, finding parking a mile away and doing the same freakin’ pick n drops all week long (why is their no school bus system for the public schools here, i will never understand) OR spent pottering around the kitchen making lunches and dinners, handling snacks and dirty dishes and sticky counters. Why am i spending sooooo much time in the kitchen handling food even though i am fasting and don’t require more than one full meal a day is beyond me! why am i ALWAYS shooing them away from the kitchen so i don’t trip over their spinning beyblades and WHY OH WHY do they always have to play with these silly things near my moving feet in the kitchen (while often times i am handling the red hot oil for frying pakoras, rendering myself a potential safety hazard for my own kids).
I love being a mother. I wanted to be a mother. I love the tiny humans we have created. They give me so much joy. But I didn’t realize when i signed up to be a mama that it comes with SO. MUCH. HOUSEWORK. This part truly sucks! More so when i am not the kind of person who can just go about the day with a sink full of dirty dishes and messy floors. I just can’t. I have tried to let it go but it messes with my head even more than the actual work to tackle it. So i have accepted myself for who I am (definitely OCD which seems to have worsened so much in this last year) and all the work that goes into it. But boy, is it grueling and exhausting! More emotionally than physically.
I love being hands-on with my kids. I love one-on-one time with each of them. I love being in the moment with them. I am super grateful for them. But I also love some alone-time to unwind. I love to pursue my passions. I love to explore new things and experiences for myself always. I love to be my own person, other than being a mama. And that has to be ok too. I wish somehow this concept gets more normalized than it is, guilt-free.
Also, wasn’t it supposed to be a village who was gonna help me raise my kids? where is my freakin’ village?
Disclaimer : This post is just supposed to be rant, a let-it-out, a whining session, a heart-to-heart, and in no way is meant to be taken in a wrong way. This is not me being ungrateful in any way, I know I am lucky enough to have the life that I have. No judgmental remarks please.
More Motherhood Talks from me here.
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