Shaking hands with reality.

I mostly try to come to this space for positivity, sharing happy thoughts, constructive lifestyle stuff. But there is always another side to the things too. I dont believe in hiding the negative parts but i understand that joy sparks more joy, happiness begets happiness, and there have been countless times when i have been personally feeling down and have come to social media and it made me smile or left me inspired and took away my troubles temporarily. So i mostly try to do that for others through social media too. But sometimes i need to talk about the stuff thats not going so well for me. Cause life ain’t all sorted for anyone really. For the past few years, i have struggled with my health. I have a couple of conditions that can be managed but not completly cured. And even when things look fine on the outside, i have struggled everyday internally. There are days when i push through, and then my body just gives up on me some days. I mostly tried to ignore it this past year since i have moved here and that has made it worse i think. But i had no choice, there is too much responsibility on me, i didnt want to be dependant as well, and so i threw my head down most days took my pills, put the health issues on the back-est shelf of my mind and pulled through life. But then things got a little rough and i was forced to take a step back and put my health first for a change. Ironically, both my conditions have the same side effects of depression, extreme fatigue, hair loss, pale skin, weight gain, mood swings (its so hard dealing with these symptoms) so there are days i m left hating my body for what it has become, but then ofcourse i realize how lucky i am to have this body and the life it gives me and i vow to take better care of it, of my soul too. Its a healing journey, it leaves me grasping for more life in my days but it also teaches me to slow down, to let go. So there, i just shared a part of me that i really struggled with putting here infront of all, cause i didnt wanna put up an image of weakness or self-pity but believe me i am not fishing for sympathy. Well wishes are welcome. 😇

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